Can I Be Honest?

As I worked through a potential set of questions and framework for translating values to practical goals, I got lost. The process I am working on, has you identify what values you want to focus on for the month and then translate those into goals. As I tried to do so, I initially found myself feeling overwhelmed and stuck. It was through working with that discomfort that I gained greater clarity about my core values. I recognized some overlap that was creating confusion for me, and I realized that some of the language I had chosen didn’t quite capture what matters most to me.

This led to some adjustments in my recently identified core values. I broke apart Self-Care & Self-Development into two distinct values and removed Curiosity, realizing that what I was trying to capture with curiosity was already encompassed within self-development. I also replaced Fun with Joy. I realized that what I meant by fun was largely reflected in my value of adventure, whereas what I truly wanted to capture was the appreciation of simple, joyful moments in everyday life and a desire to be more present for them.

Initially, I felt uneasy about making these changes. I had a sense that once I identified my values, I should be committed to them and not change them on a whim. But after stepping away from it for a while and letting it percolate in the background, I was able to return with a greater sense of acceptance. I realized that if these words were creating discomfort, uncertainty, and confusion, they weren’t serving their purpose. Rather than changing my values, I was refining the language so it more accurately reflected what truly matters to me.

All that to say, working through our values is rarely a one and done exercise. I wanted to be transparent in my experience (even though a small part of me want to just edit old posts that identified my values) in the hope that others having similar feelings might feel supported and seen.

While we want to be anchored in our values, being anchored doesn’t mean we have to hold rigidly to the exact words we first chose.

So, if you’re revisiting your values or identifying them for the first time and you’re feeling uncertain, it’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong. It may simply be a part  of the process. Stay curious, give yourself permission to reflect, and trust that, with time and self-compassion, you’ll arrive at a set of values that feels authentic, meaningful and aligned with the life you want to live and the person you want to be.